Back to Defend My Defining Band

Okay, so it's been a while. Turkey Day and shopping bonanza and all has slowed me down. But I've been ruminating on this article since it was first sent to me by LT, because Lord knows I don't pay Spin any attention. They became irrelevant around the turn of the century. When focused turned to the internet, myspace, unheard of bands and the like, they were still up on Limp Bizkit and all the other Nu-Metal stuff. Sure they had White Stripes on the cover for the release of Elephant, but it was a given at that point almost. But I'm straying from this insipid article:

http://www.spin.com/articles/myth-no-1-radiohead-can-do-no-wrong

I felt the need to tackle this since they are one of my favorite bands of all time and were a huge influence on my musical taste and step away from guitar solo 80s madness and look towards music that had more meaning behind its words and sounds other than partying.

Just by reading the name of the link up there you get the idea. They're attacking Radiohead, which at this point in their careers is sort of like that guy who says he hates the Beatles. Whether he means it or not, we all know he's saying it to get attention, because they are so beloved and he knows full well it will get a strong reaction. Let's see how they begin their treatise:

"REALITY: Radiohead kinda blow."

Wow, am I reading a 13 year old's myspace blog or a once-reputable magazine's website? One wouldn't know from this introduction. Let's see what other cold hard facts they have to support this statement.

"So we sit, wearing headphones and frozen grins, and continue denying that guilty, nagging feeling that actually, in some ways, when you think about it…Radiohead kinda blow."

Um, okay, you already said that, tell me why you think this is the case, because I think that nagging feeling is just gas and you're projecting sir.

"Few, save for Liam or Noel Gallagher, dare speak this heresy aloud, instead couching it in longings for a "back-to-basics" album or a 'return to form' "

Or maybe he is just ignorant and looking to stir up shit for attention? They like to do that you know. And what is this "return to form" people speak of? What two albums (not counting Kid A and Amensiac since they were the same sessions) even sound alike? Which is the "form" they need to return to? They've always changed and progressed and experimented. Some want their guitar rock or big sing along hooks. They've been there and done that. Maybe you'd be better off looking to Coldplay for your pop fix? Can you blame a band for changing? If you don't change then you risk becoming the AC/DC rut, and they're about the only ones that have pulled that off so...

"Then they kept going, one groovy tone poem into another...paralyzing boredom. By the encore, it was obvious what Radiohead had become: an exceptionally well-dressed jam band. That you can't even dance to."

I've never been to a Radiohead show where people weren't dancing or flailing the best us white folks know how. Oh no, they've used electronics in places instead of guitars! That makes it a tone poem? So are Aphex Twin instrumental, boring tone poems? Go listen to Motley Crue you electronics hater. And as for the jam band comparison, that's just baffling. I've never seen (been to 3 concerts) or heard (listened to countless live bootlegs) songs go past around the 6 minute mark. They may stretch out the end of a song sometimes, but there's no 15 minute flute solos or spacey guitar noodling. If you spent less time looking at their clothes and listening to Phish bootlegs, maybe you'd know that.

"'I think, 'What would my life be like without the Beatles?' Bono once said, worryingly, about Radiohead's post–Kid A output. "If the Beatles had just kept going on experimenting after Sgt. Pepper's?" And so they kept making pleasing beat reveries, enjoying continued success with fans, and receding ever further from the larger culture."

Put your boots on and keep walking, buddy.

Well your first problem is taking the opinion of Bono, who's band has its own set of problems. But at least Radiohead never said that fans didn't understand their albums and maybe it was too deep like Bono did in reaction to poor critical and mass reaction to No Line on the Horizon. And I'm sure the Beatles would have kept making hit songs and being well loved even if they kept on experimenting. And by receding from culture you mean not being on the cover of every pop magazine? Not being guest judges on American Idol? Because they've been activists for various causes, including global warming and trying to lessen their own carbon footprint while doing world tours. But I guess it doesn't count since nobody has any upskirt pics of Thom, Ed didn't punch a photographer, and Johnny wasn't on Dancing with the Stars? They even tried to release music differently, but you didn't like that, did you Mr. Needs More Guitar Cynic?

"But in 2007, they dominated headlines by self-releasing In Rainbows online on a pay-what-you-want basis..Even so, Yorke promised yet another paradigm shift, telling an interviewer this summer he had no interest in making proper albums would abandon this hoary format and lead us into the free-floating digital world. Until guitarist Ed O'Brien let slip soon after that they are indeed working on an album."

Maybe this Thom Yorke would duet with Taylor Swift and do big guitar solos?

Thom Yorke is known for being precocious at best, so why would it surprise you that his personal feelings wouldn't exactly match that of the rest of the band? It's always best to wait and see how things pan out instead of giving knee-jerk reactions to one sound byte.

"As special as it gets. If only they'd settle for good."

Good is in the ear of the listener pal. And there are plenty of people that think they still release good music. In Rainbows was the best album since Kid A, and I really don't count the stuff that's come out this year, because one was a one-off for charity and the other was a studio noodling that they released for free. And you never really told me why they blow. You basically just said that you don't like their music anymore, which is your personal opinion. Nothing groundbreaking or scandalous. It's not like their are wife beaters like Creed or stomp on puppies so why do they blow other than you just wanting guitar-oriented pop songs? Wait, there is nothing else, oops. But I guess you just wanted to get people like me fired up, didn't you? Well mission accomplished.

But if all of my evidence of this guy being an attention-grabbing whiner isn't enough, look at the linked article about Lady GaGa, which states hers is one of the best albums of the year. Can I get a disqualification of opinion here or what?

Maybe I should say things to get attention for this website, like this fact:

I've never seen Titanic.

Discuss amongst yourselves.